There are only three weeks left of my life here in Israel. I’m excited to come home, but I’m really nervous about what it will mean for me in terms of the journey I’ve begun here. My friends here, by and large, have some sort of a relationship to Judaism, and I largely credit them for setting me out on this path. Before coming here, I mostly encountered one kind of Jewish spirituality, which was one that I did not relate to. Here, I’ve had the opportunity to meet, talk to, pray with, celebrate with, etc., Jews with interesting and meaningful personal relationships with G-d. Seeing that there is more than one way to relate to the Holy was huge for me in recognizing my own relationship to G-d.
I’m nervous, though, that once I come home, the dialogue I’ve been living here will come to a screeching halt. As silly as it sounds, some of my concerns about this are purely financial. To enrol in the classes that encourage the kind of dialogue I’m looking for takes money. To attend the events where I might meet people in the same spiritual place as me costs money. To join a community (or two) costs money. Yes, most have geared-to-income scales, but when the concern is already that I’ll be on a bare minimum budget, sliding scale doesn’t do much to comfort me. All the same, I’ll look into it. Which brings me to another worry: I need a job. But I need Friday nights off of work. I know that they can’t technically compel me to work on a Friday, but try explaining that to a prospective boss… Saturday afternoon is also out of the question. I guess I could promise to work on Saturday nights…
All I can hope for is that my friends who take an interest in the same sort of things I do will push me to keep asking these questions, and maybe even drag me to services (theirs and my own) from time to time. It would mean so much to me for the friends with whom I have opened this dialogue with to come and experience my tradition, as well as for me to experience theirs. Consider this an open invitation to spend the Sabbath with me anytime.
