I wrote this in my journal a few weeks ago, but I think it probably serves as a good introduction to why I’ve started this new blog.
I used to think that I was not a spiritual person. Spirituality to me was something wishy-washy, airy-fairy and all the rest of it. But living here in Israel subconsciously made me question my own relationship to faith, to spirituality – to Judaism. I didn’t realize that this is what has been going on during my time here until just recently. Until now, celebrating the holidays and Shabbat was simply something I did because I “enjoyed” it. Keeping kosher l’Pesach was something I never questioned – it was the one time in a year that I followed Jewish law. But something shifted in me over the nine months I’ve been here. It’s almost as if I’ve come to recognize myself in something that I never identified with. I realized: my “traditional” side
is the way I express my “spiritual” side. Why else do I insist on dressing up to visit “holy” sites? Why else do I pray even though I claim not to be a believer? These parts of who I am make no sense unless I am in some way in touch with the Holy, whatever it may be. I know I’m still foundering a bit with this new realization, and I don’t really know where it will take me in my life. I don’t feel like I’ve begun a process of becoming religious, but rather that I’ve begun to see myself as connected to something I’d never recognized my connection to before. I’m welcoming the “spiritual growth” wholeheartedly.
And with that, I begin this new blog, and invite my readers to join me in my process of exploration, and ask that they will be nothing but supportive and encouraging of me as I struggle through this.
